notice me/愚痴

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I rarely regret my actions of the past. I accept the notion that what was supposed to happen happened, and think about what I can learn from my mistakes.

Lately, though, I am wondering why I did not do this, writing and learning to express, while you were around.

I was focused on taking care of us so much that I stopped enjoying life, resenting the fact that you did what you wanted to do, and I did what needed to be done.
Only after you left me, I started to see myself. And, I think about what would have been like if I had started earlier. Would we have enjoyed being alive more? Appreciated each other gracefully? Would you have been proud of me?

No sense in trying to figure that out.

 

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

— George Bernard Shaw

 

後悔しても仕方ないけど、

もっと早くに気が付いていれば、

私達はもっと幸せだったんだろうか。

 

自分を探すんじゃなくて、

自分を作るのが人生ならば。

 

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23 Comments Add yours

  1. I wanted to let you know that I was going to highlight your blog on my post today, but I need to use your url for it. Since you put the asian title on the title along with the English, I am not able to use your url.

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    1. nelkumi says:

      Wow, thank you for the recognition!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I wasn’t able to do it because of the asian writing on your title.

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      2. nelkumi says:

        Oh, so sorry… (please imagine me bobbing my head and apologizing profusely).

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I understand and I figured that. I will keep watching to see if I can catch one I can use.

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      4. You don’t need to apologize. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. nelkumi says:

        It’s the asian thing… 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I understand. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. nelkumi says:

        No, Thank YOUUUU!

        Like

    2. nelkumi says:

      Okay, I just took off the asian thingy…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Do you always put the asian writing on it? I have already sent out my highlights for this week today and I will use yours next Saturday, but I can’t do it with the asian writing.

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      2. nelkumi says:

        Yes and No. I have readers in Japan…

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      3. Oh, and it has to be published without the asian writing so I can get the url.

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      4. nelkumi says:

        I took the asian thing from my url, but in writing, I still have my asian thing… I will remember to do my blog in English only next Friday or Saturday… would that be okay?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. It would have to be sometime before Saturday.

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      6. nelkumi says:

        I shall keep that in mind!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. mikeytbull says:

    Very poignant words. I know we shouldn’t regret things in our life. But we are only human, and we all reflect and wonder.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. a really lovely post. my first wife, who was vietnamese, was killed just before the end of that senseless war but i have my daughter and grand daughter to help me never forget her. my second, english, wife has given me two sons but still loves ‘our’ asian daughter and believes she made me a loveable person. life can be controlled by us up to a point; but when events happen that sadden us, as you say, we have to accept them. but always remember the happy moments 🙂 god bless. Anton.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nelkumi says:

      Thank you for taking time to comment.

      Like

  4. You are a duty-first person. So hard to play if the dishes aren’t done.

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  5. Very well written Nelkumi! Specially the line “I was focused on taking care of us so much that I stopped enjoying life, resenting the fact that you did what you wanted to do, and I did what needed to be done.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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