I want, I want …

 

I don’t know if I ever hankered after anything. I am passive that way. Growing up, I was aware of the fact that my parents weren’t wealthy and of what they could afford and didn’t ask for things. To this day, I revere children who pout and cry to convey their desire for something at stores.

One thing that I wished I had but didn’t was confidence. I did okay at school and with friends but lacked enough confidence to aim high or overachieve. “I didn’t know I could do that!” or “I did it!” weren’t in my vocabulary. I looked at those who, with their oblivion, succeeded and envied. I was too conscientious and timid. I still am and wonder what I have missed.IMG_2087

My brother wanted whatever I got for birthday and holidays – a pink cuddly toy horse, a red vinyl purse and a polka dotted ribbon. And, I now crave for sweets that I used to have but can’t.

We always want something we don’t or can’t have, I suppose.

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Out of Your Reach.”
“Was there a toy or thing you always wanted as a child, during the holidays or on your birthday, but never received? Tell us about it.”

 

家庭が裕福でないことを知っていたし、弟や妹の面倒をみるようにと言われて育ったから、何かが欲しい と駄駄をこねたりせず、周りの人に気を使う子供だったのに、十代になると、見事に反抗期に入った。言っていることと行いがそぐわない大人たちに幻滅し、それでも自分は清らかに生きていくんだと腹が立った。全く金八先生の世界だった。
大人になった今も、食べてはいけないと言われている甘い物を食べて、いつになれば反抗期がおさまるのやら。

 

 

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Vonita says:

    We are so similar. I also never asked for things and was timid with lack of confidence!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Confidence comes from pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. Set a goal and take baby steps toward it. With every successful baby step, confidence comes. It doesn’t feel good while you are taking the step, but it does afterwards, when you have taken it. This is the way to do it. (Personal examples upon request.)

    Liked by 1 person

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