bye-bye, blue … for now

I am recovering. Maybe, it’s the weather. Though it has been chilly, it hasn’t rained for the past few days, and the sky is blue.

They say that winter brings depression. Gray sky, chill in the air and being confined indoors don’t help.

I say I’m recovering because I can now look at the gloom inside me objectively. Yes, I will be depressed again and again. Yes, I will be discontent with my life and where it’s going. And, yes, I will feel like dumping everything, namely responsibilities, taking off and starting all over. Despite all this fear, confusion, and uncertainty, I’m beginning to think that things happen for reasons and everything will be alright.

I am still trepidatious about going out, though. Yesterday, I went out to a store to get food and started to have a panic attack. I need to take small steps.






12 Comments Add yours

  1. You are not alone, the depression is creeping in on me. I have been fighting it this season and I have managed to alienate my family and friends. I can’t tell if it’s my depression that is making me see relationships in a different light or the results of the election that has upset me, I know the season does it to me every year. I’ve never been one of the bubbly optimist people, I am a realist so seeing friendships end for obvious reasons when I’m up, only makes me angry, when I’m down, it makes me doubt my thought process. I wish you well and keep up the fight, we’re in it together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nelkumi says:

      One realist to another, l thank you for the visit and comment. Appreciate your sincere, heartfelt words.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bonsai says:

    It very well could be the season. Be careful not to isolate too much. Make a habit (daily) of going out to a destination where there are a few people. Up your game by smiling at someone. Take it from there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nelkumi says:

      Thank you for the advice.


  3. ❤️ Hang in there! My depression feels like it’ll get the better of me every winter, but easier times are just around the corner. (This is a pep talk for myself as much as you.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. nelkumi says:

      Thank you. Appreciate the pep talk.


  4. andysmerdon says:

    I’ll hold your hand nelkumi – figuratively speaking of course – take care 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nelkumi says:

      Thank you. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great to hear you are picking up, let’s both aim for next Christmas 🙂 Anton

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wishing you well. If you ask me, starting over is an excellent chance to make it worse.

    Liked by 1 person

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