exit this way

  I am looking for a door. I don’t know whether I lost sight somewhere along the way or it never existed. I am looking for a door. It doesn’t matter where it might lead me, so long as it opens to a new place. I am looking for a door. I don’t wanna be…

stereotype

  My husband and I used to say that we were cheating. I was married to an old guy without money, and his Japanese wife (me!) was anything but obedient and submissive. We broke the mold. Is being different same as being disobedient? If you do not follow the crowd, are you a rebel? I…

a prayer

  I wake up on my side of the bed, as I did that day, and look for you, your warmth, your breath, your eyes’ whisper. The bed now is too vast for loneliness to touch the empty side. Five years, that’s how long it has been. I don’t know if I have changed at…

learning

My initial reactions used to be to panic and to try to figure out what I did wrong. Now, I walk away and stay away. Innocence and ignorance keep your ability to listen and react viscerally, I think.   For The Daily Post’s daily prompt, Visceral.   ちびまる子みたい、おもしろい、とか言われるのに…    

love is …

  “I love you.” “Me, too.” “You do? You love yourself!?”   You never have to explain.     あの時のままじゃなくて、変わるから、生きていける。  

a distraction

I come to a standstill, catch my breath, break off from my reality, look around, and notice the world, the real world, unfurling.   For The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge, Ooh, Shiny!, and daily prompt, Unfurl.   正しいこと、物、人なんて、ない、のかも。  

soliloquizing

  “Where are you? With whom?” my heart wonders, while wishing you were here with me. 独り言…  

confidante

  We laugh and giggle at the silliest things, exchanging the knowing glances. Once we settle down a little, we poke at the crumbs on the plate with dessert forks. We have been sipping stagnant and lukewarm tea in a set of fine china. “I always have fun when I’m with you. You’re hilarious.” “Aww…

in earnest

  I take some and give some. Sometimes, I take a bit more than I give. Occasionally, I offer more than I get or give without anything in return. Once in a while, I give reluctantly. Now and then, I might need excuses to accept. Every so often, I feel that I am entitled. A…

goodbyes

  When bands of color shimmer in the sky, I think of you. When wings flap, I think of you. When the singing gets louder and clearer, I think of you. When the night winks, I think of you. People seem to leave. Good people.   訃報続きで、ちょっと、へこむ。    

self-assured

  I have a catharsis when I do the things I’m not supposed to do – having ice cream for dinner, eating a bowl of cereal at 10:45 pm, standing at the edge of a surface and looking down, being unkempt, cutting hair myself, hiding while feeling sorry for myself. “Inspiration is for amateurs. The…

to have and to hold

I didn’t have a plan. I just hoped you’d be with me, for better, for worse. 久しぶりに、犬を連れて歩きながら泣いた。犬が止まったまま自分も立ち止まり、犬が匂いを嗅ぐ様子を見ながら、ふと、涙が浮かんで溢れた。 少し前はよくこうなった。動作や思考が止まると、自然と涙が流れてきていたので、忙しい仕事や邪魔してくれる人たちに助けられていた。生きている限り、そばにいる人をなくすこともある。ただ、ただ、生き続けるしかない。 最近、ようやく落ち着きが戻ったところだった。 心を暗くしたのは、朝起きて携帯の電源を入れた時に読んだ着信メッセージ。30年来の友人が亡くなった、と。