finding me
I want to travel freely, touch, see and listen to everything, yet maintain nothingness. Like winds. 変えられるものは、自分の知識や理解、見方という変数の部分なのに、他人だとか時間という定数の方に気を取られて、答えが出ない方程式。 Continue reading finding me
Category: blah blah blah — 独り言
predicament
When do I get a break?
どうしたら優しくできるのだろう。
昔は話をするのが楽しみだった。どう言うだろうかとか、どんな捉え方を示してくれるだろうかと期待して、電話をかける手が急いた。それが、少しずつ、時を経るとともに、 Continue reading “predicament”
trick or treat
Do ghosts live on the moon? I don’t know. Can we fly? … Continue reading trick or treat
self-defense
I have to kill her, or she would kill me.At first, when she criticized the way I looked, I tried to ignore her. Then, she started accusing me of doing wrong. Lectured that I should act more like others. Preaching to be a good daughter, wife, and mother. Told me that I would be a failure. It bothered me, hurt me, but I refused to … Continue reading self-defense
plain truth
I have no story to tell at the moment; too many characters have died already, and the protagonist cannot find a goal to achieve. 『私の三不作』まず、不細工。元々の容姿もあるが、きれいにしようともしない。次に不精。やらなきゃならないことがない時が一番しあわせ。そして、不器用。思い描いていたものとは違う結果になることが多い。 Continue reading plain truth
nine years later II
I may be able to do a lot more by myself than I used to be.I am older and, perhaps, wiser; my skin much darker and thicker. I may be able to laugh a little more than I once was.There are times I almost think I could dream again. I may not be the person I was,but I still miss you the same. 生きたいとは思わない。死にたいとも思わない。誰かのために生きなきゃ、とは思うけど。 Continue reading nine years later II
nine years later
Still standing and taking on whatever may come 今年は平井大さんの『小さな丘の木の下で』を聴いてるよ Continue reading nine years later
for R
Have you ever missed someone badly? Like you miss them so much that your knees buckle, and you fall over? 頑張れ、とはっぱかけるよりも、頑張ったね、と話を聴ける人間でありたい。 Continue reading for R
rains
It has been raining a lot. 雨が… 止まない。 Continue reading rains
pressing matters
The wooden steps to the back porch are rotten and wobbly. The rain gutters that hang askew drip every time it rains. The roof with rusted nails is perched on the flimsy eaves and will fly off sooner or later. I don’t fix them. Instead, just wait until either the house or I finally give out. I could sell this place and make them somebody … Continue reading pressing matters
What does nelkumi think? 