cacophonous

  I do not die. I saunter the same route over and over. I do not cry. I moisten the goblet and stay sober, worshipping the intangible, every aesthetic fiber. Like a sweater I once wore, I stretch until no more, thinking too much, trying as such. Then, I let go, shrinking to a ball,…

goodbyes

  When bands of color shimmer in the sky, I think of you. When wings flap, I think of you. When the singing gets louder and clearer, I think of you. When the night winks, I think of you. People seem to leave. Good people.   訃報続きで、ちょっと、へこむ。    

to have and to hold

I didn’t have a plan. I just hoped you’d be with me, for better, for worse. 久しぶりに、犬を連れて歩きながら泣いた。犬が止まったまま自分も立ち止まり、犬が匂いを嗅ぐ様子を見ながら、ふと、涙が浮かんで溢れた。 少し前はよくこうなった。動作や思考が止まると、自然と涙が流れてきていたので、忙しい仕事や邪魔してくれる人たちに助けられていた。生きている限り、そばにいる人をなくすこともある。ただ、ただ、生き続けるしかない。 最近、ようやく落ち着きが戻ったところだった。 心を暗くしたのは、朝起きて携帯の電源を入れた時に読んだ着信メッセージ。30年来の友人が亡くなった、と。    

notification

“You last updated your profile 2,626 weeks ago.”  

frame of mind

Live obliviously or think aloud? Being mindful stresses me out. My head becomes too congested. I wish, one day, we all could acknowledge that we are all beautiful in different ways – different colors and shapes, various disadvantages and imperfections, diverse talents and abilities, and all sorts of minds and hearts.     非日常が日常な人や時もある。  

confusion

I grew up surrounded by love, unconditional love. I never doubt if my family would be there for me. Because they loved me so, my parents raised me to conform to the society’s norms. That way, they thought, I would lead a happy life. My husband despised anyone trying to fit in and respected the…

feeling unmoored

I have no one waiting for me or needing me, no responsibilities – socially or personally, and no sense of reality nowadays. Do people call this an unmoored life? Disconnected, unattached, loose, therefore, confused, insecure, and unstable.   For The Daily Post’s daily prompt, Unmoored.     定期的に、3日くらい続けて何もしたくなくなる。ただ、ただ、頭をパソコンに突っ込む。現実を見ないように。惨めな自分の姿に気づかないように。    

precipice

If I do nothing and accomplish nothing, then I have nothing to regret, … right?   For The Daily Post’s daily prompt, Precipice.  

like mother, like daughter

I am a daughter. I am a sister. I have been a friend. I have been a missus. I’ve never been a mother or called “Mommy” either. But, I am my mother. 母にずいぶん似てきたと言われる。 褒め言葉でもないような——— 。    

in a daze

It’s getting dark, and I’m tired. Sitting on the dusty floor with my back against the hard wall, I eat a bowl of cereal for dinner, alone, for the third night in a row. A dead end. Again.   For The Daily Post’s daily prompt, Maze.  

bitter

I’m glad it’s raining. I’ll laze around, not showered, until some inspiration moves my fingers. I don’t have to do anything. I can’t mow or wash dogs … it’s raining! My life is that bland and boring when it IS happening. When you have a job you keep to pay bills, families you tolerate, a…

rainbow

With thick dark clouds threatening, I walk towards the colossal rainbow. It bridges the sky from south to west. The closer I get, the taller and mightier it gets. While the rest of the sky is dreary, as if to encourage me, its inviting glow is reaching out. I smile luminously. Then, the colors start…