the world without me

It rejects me: who I am and what I am.It hits me, kicks me, and shoves me hard.But, I stand on my two feet, defying my existence and surrendering to invisibility and insignificance. アタシさえいなければ。ボクなんていなくても。 Continue reading the world without me

current state

Alternating between invincibility and fear. 手枷足枷を振り落とそうと足掻きながら生きている感じ。 他の人のようにならなきゃと必死だった。自分を大切に産んで育ててくれた親でさえも、他の人のやるようにやりなさいと言った。学校でもあまり目立たないように、真面目すぎず適当に面白い友達でいた。会社では、与えられた仕事をこなし、面倒な行事にも顔を出した。自分が誰だか分からなくなった。 Continue reading current state

dark

  Sparkles on foliage after the morning rain And the aroma of wet grass flowing. I look into the dogs’ bright eyes, their heads tilting.   The darkness at night, Grief and suffering of people, And shadows in my head wailing. I scratch the dogs’ bellies nearby, their paws on me.   A glimpse of hope and dreams, Maybe, belongs to the future. Lessons learned … Continue reading dark

stuck

  She hears a muffled hum. A fly? A bee? Trapped somewhere in the room? She looks around, trying to locate the source of the murmur in her bleary vision. The sound intensifies, reverberating throughout the room. She grabs the arms of the chair, bracing to get up. After several failed attempts to stand on her feet, she plunks herself back down. The incessant noise … Continue reading stuck