a vanishing act

  Something inside me popped, dissolved, and died. The residue spread like a dark stain on a white shirt, getting bigger and larger, giving way. I waited for the stubborn struggle to dissipate, but, in the end, it closed in on me. Forgotten or despised, which is better? “Who is this?” or “I never liked her.” I wish I hadn’t noticed. I became curious and … Continue reading a vanishing act

drowning

Nightmare is singing again, a lullaby, familiar and comforting. In the perpetual darkness, a faint ray of hope shimmers and fades, sinking deep down where nothing could reach, not even tears. As soon as I surface, they talk. Those sober creatures. They say to be positive and be happy. Happy? Happy!? Oh, don’t you see the smile on my face!? So, I sink. Swallowing words … Continue reading drowning

bye-bye, blue … for now

I am recovering. Maybe, it’s the weather. Though it has been chilly, it hasn’t rained for the past few days, and the sky is blue. They say that winter brings depression. Gray sky, chill in the air and being confined indoors don’t help. I say I’m recovering because I can now look at the gloom inside me objectively. Yes, I will be depressed again and … Continue reading bye-bye, blue … for now

deep in thought

  My secret, confidential, classified New Year’s resolution was to get a life, have a sense of purpose, and validate my existence on Earth aside from the likes and comments on my blog posts. I failed. “Create your own destiny. Change your own reality.” … yeah, yeah, yeah, easier said than done. I have been sinking for too long and too deep, and am tired. … Continue reading deep in thought